"Throwaway" Writing

I am easily distracted. I tend to get started on something big, then when that long-awaited moment of writing inspiration strikes, it has the potential to sink me into a whole new project. I have a word for these harried, late-night scribbles--I call them my "throwaways". These are the dream inspirations, character examinations, setting descriptions, or illustrations of a feeling, like so:

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“We’re almost there,” I say cheerily, strutting ahead despite my own frustration, and we continue along the road, withdrawing from the seasonal colors of the meadow into open countryside, complete with lush, fruited grapevines lining the road. I approach a climbing vine on the wire fence and stare at one dark, fat cluster of grapes that dangle obscenely. My mouth waters and the color skips like a missed heartbeat, it’s purple purple purple blue, and I have to raise my eyes away before it lifts me off the road.

I got in trouble for calling that a "throwaway". An author friend of mine had to sternly set me straight on it, not once, but twice in the last week. And honestly, does this particular scribble have promise? Heck, I don't know. But I do know that referring to these as "throwaway" pieces is a terrible misnomer. It's self-deprecating, it cheapens the work, and it fails to highlight the opportunity they present. Sometimes it takes someone outside of ourselves to point it out.

Don't be afraid to scribble, even if it's just an exercise. But don't sell yourself short. Every moment you spend creating shouldn't be thrown away. And maybe, if you're really onto something, it'll be the seedling for your next poem, short story, or novel. Whatever it is, don't let it wilt and die. You never know what it can become if you take the time to breathe a little more life into it.

Conscious Writing

Years ago, I had the terrifying epiphany that many young adults experience: that life was happening faster than I was consciously aware of. I couldn't have been older than sixteen or seventeen, and there I was, contemplating my own powerlessness in the face of time. It was too heavy then to process, and so I didn't, and instead descended happily back into focusing on my anxiety over the "small things".

Years later, I experienced it all over again as an abrupt, unwelcome awareness of myself and the unyielding passage of time. But this time I remembered that this sense of overwhelming consciousness had happened once before, and it felt good, as if I had slowed time just by being aware of it. It was a revelation, and I felt that by being conscious, I was somehow cheating death. And I continued thinking about it and wondered if perhaps there was a way to maintain that awareness, to stay awake long term, and maybe it would make my life feel longer. So I did what any Type A overthinker would do--I penciled it into my schedule. Literally. I added it to my daily calendar as a reminder to "WAKE UP!" every day at 6pm, and for about a year, I did just that. I would stop what I was doing at 6pm damn near every day, and think about where my life was and where I wanted it to go. I also took those moments to be happy for the successes I'd had or witnessed, no matter how small, and reflected on my failures and how I could grow from them.

I don't have that reminder set anymore, and I'm no longer focused on cheating death. And although it's not every single day that I practice "waking up", I'd like to think it's become a part of my lifestyle. I do my best to live with my eyes wide open. And I love being able to explore the world around me and connect with the earth and the people that inhabit it. Life is beautiful, even at its most challenging. And as I feel pressured by myself to write, to finish, to not miss an opportunity by delaying any further, I must consciously remind myself to stop and wake up. Look around. Look at the beauty here, even in pain and imperfection. Take a moment to process it. Then I can write about the world, and maybe I'll be able to do it some justice.

To my fellow writers, dreamers, family and friends: don't forget to be aware. As we write and live out our dreams, our fantasies, and our own unique versions of reality, we must remember to pop our heads above water for a look around and a gulp of air. Our world is, after all, where we draw our inspiration to create in the first place.

Announcing "The Grave", book 2 of "In Caves & Catacombs"!

More news! I've been deep in writing-land and as I move forward with my full length novel, I keep finding myself drawn to add more to the short story series, "In Caves & Catacombs". Enter "The Grave", book 2 in the series! An indirect sequel to "The Boat", the second installment in the series explores a new set of character experiences of the same apocalypse from the mainland in the USA. It focuses on Damian, a homeless veteran overlooked by the system, and his dog, Wolf, who find themselves struggling to survive as the world falls apart around them.

Look for a release date for book 2 to be announced in the coming month! Or, you can join my mailing list here.

Announcing a new short story: The Boat by Elle Otero

Exciting news!! For those of you anxious to get reading, The Boat is launching on November 14th. Get ready for an apocalyptic short story that sets the stage for the Efrenen Sea series:

When her lover succumbs to the virus plaguing the remains of the civilized world, Lindsay is left alone on a sailboat she can't operate. With nuclear bombs deployed to destroy the infected and the storm season just beginning, she must find a way to survive—without losing her mind in the process.

Solitude, saltwater, and survival. There's no better way to get ready for Out of the Efrenen Sea than by reading The Boat!

Available for pre-order on Kindle now!

“It was clear then, as the rolling motion of the cabin grew more sudden and violent, that there was nothing she could do to change it. If it killed her, that was it. She was powerless to stop it. A calm came over her and she surrendered to it, closing her eyes and breathing deeply. Death couldn’t be any worse than this mode of existence.
The boat jumped and her eyes opened. No, she wanted to live.”

— The Boat

Motivation

One memorable night several months ago, I lifted my tablet off the nightstand. It was late, I was over it, but I was going to get through Chapter 12, damn it. But I felt like the story was meandering into a dark, uninteresting hole. So I told myself, "Let's see what Writer's Digest has to say." Instead of clicking on their actual Facebook page, I accidentally loaded everything that had been tagged with #writersdigest, where, lo and behold, someone had tagged a friend with this: "Elle, could you provide a link to the quiz?" 

I am not ashamed to admit that I clicked to see what the heck they were talking about. Divine providence, I thought. It took me to a quiz on character motivation, designed to uncover your "storytelling superpower". Seemed innocuous enough. I started the quiz.

At first, the questions seemed kind of silly. "Pick a season". Okay, sure, whatever. Now I have to pick a color? *sigh* Fine. A photo? Between the ocean, mountain, and desert, duh, I'm going with ocean, have you even read my book description? I made my selections of that and other such nonsense for another thirty seconds or so, and submitted the quiz, feeling like I'd wasted a good half minute of writing time. And then it gave me a result that blew me away: 

Superheroes? I never, ever, ever- are you listening? EVER- thought of myself as writing about superheroes. But when I read the description, I realized that they nailed it. My leading lady, Mida Efren, wears sealskin, not a supersuit. But she has an underlying motivation to protect those that she loves. And that motivation seeps into every scene, every interaction, every moment she shares with the reader. Mida wants nothing more than to end her people's suffering, and she'll accomplish it by any means necessary.

You know, I don't know that I fully appreciated my main character before I took this quiz. She seemed sort of selfish and inexperienced; at odds, even, with Efrenen tradition. But once I began critically examining her motivation, her reason for being, the story pretty much wrote itself. I wonder if that affects how we live our own lives in the same way. Once we uncover our deepest motivation and follow it above all else, do our own stories pretty much write themselves?

Characters that change our storylines

I have a love/hate relationship with my character's relentless ability to change my storyline. I'll map the whole thing out, write each chapter description so that it fits neatly within my story arc, and then, as I actually write the thing, suddenly my heroine doesn't like the way a character says something, and she won't stand for it. It's like being at war with myself- and I can be a defiant little shit.

There's also something wonderful that happens when your characters have finally developed enough to become their own beings. The story tightens, the interactions are more genuine, and the reality of this other world bleeds into every sentence. It's fulfilling to see their personalities take shape, but it's also uncomfortable, because it becomes a battle to reign in these fictional people just enough to keep the story moving, without stifling their self-expression and killing the flow of the book. 

I guess it comes down to this: writing is weird. I'm down to the last couple chapters of my book- almost at the finish line. I know where my characters are going and I have this vague idea of how they're going to get there. Inevitably, they'll fight back against fate like we all do here in the "real world". I can't wait to see what they do with the ending I have planned.